Little Ashti and Windows XP


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Joe's story

little ashti's story

your missiles and smart bombs fell upon us and bought us to our knee and warheads tipped with windows xp. we didn't accept your crack-head moms, trash can babies, dead beat dads. we didn't join the free market. nor did we speculate. Instead we kept our eyes open to see. And we didn't upgrade to windows xp. we weren't impressed with icky-d's, and we don't care for Flunkin donuts. we're not going to give anymore to your pizza slut.  we just wanted to love our god and family.  so take heed before you join the free market and the technology state, always be free, and never, ever upgrade to windows xp. 

I wolfed down my guaranteed 30 seconds or its free dripping in grease ham, egg, & cheese on "toasted" muffin from the miky-d drive through. 8:45 am! I still have time to wolf down a coffee at my Flunkin donuts with heavy cream and a ton of sugar and I can make it to work by 9 am. with one hand on the wheel and the other clutching my grease and egg I careened my lease onto I-95 ever so careful about my coffee and road-raged to work looking forward to giving my little secretary a pinch on her rear. as I gullied down my coffee and my blood pressure rose, I became more and more enraged at the prick in front of me.  so, as I swerved into the other lane I lost total control of my vehicle and performed a double flip and three 180's smashing my lease and me to a pile of blood, flesh, twisted metal, and an egg and cheese. as I traveled towards heaven (yes I was forgiven) I looked back and what I saw made me see the light. a myriad of cars passing by the spectacle on their way and never stopping. I knew then my mistake.....
I had upgraded to windows 98

I grew up in a land of open space desert, clean air, and warm sun. I honored my mother and father. what you did with gigabytes and megahertz, I did with simple soap and water. every day I cleansed  myself and helped my mother with her work. when my father returned home we served him his meal. we thanked god for being so great and allowing us to see. And ,yes, we didn't upgrade to windows xp. one night, after dinner and prayer we all went outside to gaze upon god's creation in the night-time sky. how beautiful and bright. daddy held my hand, mommy held his as the heavens spun above us, but then a brightness blocked the stars. an evil so great it blinded us from god's work. missiles kept raining down. the torrent wouldn't stop. kept raining down and raining down. When I saw mommy and daddy disappear I had to submit. I'm sorry mommy. I'm sorry daddy. the pressure was too great. don't you see? I had to upgrade to windows xp.